My weird family
by kikkie
Summary: Alternate universe! Levi adopts Eren, Armin and Mikasa! Levi marries Hanji! Eren already knows about his powers! Also, what is Armin gender? pairs are Levi/hanji, Eren with...that will be a surprise! Rated M for languege and dark comedy, enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

"Shit…" He moans as he watches his blood leak to the ground. "Coming up here was a mistake, I need to get out of here." He thought as he tries to stand on his own to feet. But failed and slipped on his own blood. He slumps his body against the wall he was leaning against and sighed.

"I can hear them, their coming for me. Shit!" He thought to himself, he closes his eyes and waited for something to grab him and yank him out of the area, but instead he felt a gently tug. He looks at the thing tugging him in surprise, it was an old man.

"Are you okay sir?" the old man asked, Levi smirked at his question.

"I am bleeding and can barely move, what do you think?" Levi asked as he tries to stand up. When he got to his feet he fell straight to the ground hard, he growls in pain. The old man just sighs and forcefully helps Levi to his feet.

"I'm fine." Levi growled.

"No your not, and the way you're struggling to get up, it's only a matter of times before those guards catch up to you." The old man said, Levi looks at him with widen eyes of shocked. He them sucks his teeth and lets the old man drag him to a dirty-shit looking house where the old man cleans and patches his wounds. Once done, Levi sighs and looks at the old man.

"Thanks, but I think I should head out." Levi says, he tries to get up, but falls down to his chair and moans in pain.

"I think you should spend the night here young man." The old man said. Levi looks at him and wonders what was this man deal, why would he let him, a criminal, stay at his house.

"I'm a thief." Levi said.

"Well, I have nothing for you to steal." The old man said. "I dont even have money for food." He tells Levi, the young man looks down to his feet and sighs, he knows what that feels like.

"Grandpa!" A squacky voice shouted, Levi looks over his shoulder and saw a blonde child come walking into the dirty house with a smile on their face.

"Hello Armin!" The old man said.

"You have a bruised." Levi muttered, Armin touches their face and smile.

"Its nothing, who's this man?" Armin asked, Levi stared at the child, trying to figure out if this child was a boy or a girl.

"He's...an old friend of mine." The old man said.

"Oh, well hello there!" Armin shouted as the child puts their hand out to shake it. Levi shakes his Armin hand and smiles.

"Your adorable." Levi muttered, making Armin smile. "Are you a boy or a girl?" Levi asked, and like that, Armin smile disappeared quicker than it came.

"Figure it out…" Armin muttered under their breathe. The five year old said, Levi couldn't help but to smirk at the child comment. Armin grandfather looks at them and said:

"Armin a-RRRRRR" Armin stomach growled, cutting the old man off, and also made Levi stare in shocked, when he was hungry his stomach never growled that loudly, and he lost 20 pounds for not eating much.

"Are you hungry?" Levi asked.

"Yea…" Armin muttered as the young child holds their stomach. Levi smiles and touches his wound. He then stands up on his feets and smiles at the young boy, he walks over to a sack off the table near him. "Why don't we get you something to eat." Levi said, Armin follows the young man outside of the house and made their way to the food market where everyone was just closing their shops. A perfect time to sneak some food. In a flash Levi walks past three stands and stole fruit, bread and meats. He then hands it to Armin. The young child smiles at the large amounts of food given to it.

"FOOD!" Armin shouted as they munch on bread and cheese Levi just stole for Armin.

"I have to go, tell your father I owe him one." Levi said before walking away from Armin, the young boy watches the young man leave his sight. If only he knew that wasn't the last time he would be seeing it.


	2. Chapter 2

(5 years)

"You're pathetic." Levi muttered under his breathe as he watches the many survivors of the fall of Maria walking to their doom. Levi hated the idea of what the government had plan for these people, but no one listen to him. Even if he was humanity's strongest soldier, he had no say in the discussions to be made.

"We can't feed them all Levi." Erwin muttered under his breath before walking away from the young man.

"Tch!" Levi muttered under his breath. "Idiots! They all deserve to eat shit." The young man thought as he watches all the poor, old and scared people of Maria leave the protection of Rose. In the midst of all the faces, one popped out at Levi. It was an old man saying goodbye to a little blonde child.

"Is that?" Levi asked himself as he walks towards the two. He taps on the shoulder of old man, gaining his attentions.

"Oh, if it isnt the old thug I saved, how are you?" The old man asked.

"I am a captain now." Levi responded. "What are you doing here old man?"

"Going to get the wall back…" He said, but he didn't sound to happy. It didn't take Levi a long time to realize that this man was part of the group sacrifices. Levi eyes widen in fear at what was to become of him.

"It was nice meeting you young man." The old man said before looking down at Armin. He gives the young child a smile before patting their head. He then looks at Levi and waves goodbye to Levi. Both Armin and Levi watched the old man walk off into the sunset with the other survivors. Once gone, Levi eyes looks down at Armin, the small child was crying their little eyes out. Levi looks to the ground and sighs before saying:

"Do you have a place to stay tonight?" Levi asked the kid, the young child shakes their head no.

"Ive been sleeping in the storage units for a while, but now that everyone gone, the guards wont let us sleep there." Armin said. Levi sighed before gathering up to courage to say:

"Come with me."

(Three hours later)

"Okay...I said YOU can sleep here, not them." Levi said as he stared down at the two children behind Armin.

"But their my friends!" Armin said. "I can't leave them outside."

"You or no roof." Levi muttered under his breath. Armin sighed before puffing their cheeks and glared at the man. They begins to hold their breath and closed their eyes.

"What are you doing?" Levi asked.

"Armin holding in their breath, trying to faint." The small girl in pink said. Levi rolled his eyes and crossed his arms before leaning back on the side of his door and stared at the child.

"Let's see." Levi mutters. The two children stared at the blond child for a few minutes, watching the child face turn from red to purple. Everyone staring at the child notice his veins popping out. Levi rolled his eyes and groaned before shouting:

"Oh my god, you can all sleep in here!" Levi shouted. Armin didn't waste a second in letting the air in their lungs leave their body.


	3. Chapter 3

Three months have passed since Armin Grandfather left to get the wall back, he was probably dead by now. But that was the last thing on Levi mind, in fact, it didn't even make his list of things to do today. Right now his mind was focused on finding the kids something to do, since it has been three weeks, Levi was thinking about adopting these kids. So today he was going to the government office and signing these kids up to be his.

"Levi!" Armin shouted, making Levi turn to look at him, Armin was cleaning the dining table while Mikasa and Eren were washing the dishes.

"Yes Armin." Levi answered.

"Eren and I are going to market to buy some bread." Armin said.

"What about Mikasa?" Levi asked.

"She's...sick." Armin muttered under his breath, Levi looks at the little girl. He stares at her for a few minutes before noticing the dark aura around the young girl.

"Oh god, defcon one." Levi muttered under his breath. He digs into his pocket and pulls out a couple of coins from his pocket. He gives it to the small child.

"Buy some tea as well, I will be back later." Levi said as he leave his apartment. Levi lived in a two bedroom apartment, since Levi was always busy and didn't care much for house decoration, he never used his spare room till now. The brats had made that room their own by coloring on the walls and labeling their names on the door. Much to Levi annoyance, but they're good at cleaning, so Levi didn't care much for their messes. Also it was nice to come home to someone who seemed misses you, even though he didn't want to admit it.

(HQ)

"This is so annoying." Levi thought to himself as he watches Erwin and Mike talk to him, Nanada and Hanji about their next expedition.

"And that is how we will capture a titan." Erwin said.

"In the process we will probably lose 20 men, but what the hey!" Levi said as his eyes makes their way to Hanji. He knew this was her idea, she's been wanting a titan for years now. So the fact that Erwin was talking about it, he knew it was because of Hanji.

"We leave at dawn in 73 hours." Mike said before dismissing the group. Levi rolled his eyes before leaving the room, he makes his way to main desk of HQ. Once there he calls out to one of the workers to ask for adoption papers. Only to receive a no from the worker.

"I am sorry sir, you can't adopt." The lady at the desk said, Levi sighed before asking:

"Why not?" He asked.

"Well, there is a new law now, you cannot adopt a child unless you are married." The woman said. Levi eyes widen a little in shock. I have to be married!? Screw this those kids can take care of themselves...for two days, then they will starve and look for food. And knowing the government, they will gladly leave those kids out there to die. But I need a woman to marry in order to adopt them. Who will I- "LEVI!" A voice shouted. Levi looks over his shoulder. It was the most annoying, loud mouth, smartest woman Levi has ever met: Hanji Zoe.

"Oi! Levi, I have been looking for you everywhere!" Hanji shouted as she runs towards the young looking man. Levi sighs at the sight of this woman. And then it hits him like a bag of bricks to the face.

I think I just found my wife...


	4. Chapter 4

"Levi!" Hanji shouted as she runs to Levi. The young looking man glared at her as the idea of getting a wife seeps into his head.

"What?" Levi asked in a very cold and dark voice. The young woman smiles before saying:

"I just got paid, wanna go out for drinks?" Hanji asked.

"Why don't you take Moblit?" Levi asked.

"He's with his girlfriend, and you're the only person I know who can hold their liquor." Hanji said, and she was right, Levi for some weird reason can't get drunk, also she was taking him with because she knows that he would not leave her drunk ass at the bar.

"Fine." Levi said, much to the woman shock, it most would take an hour of her following him around the town all day before he would agree to it. But not this time, he seemed to go along with it fine.

"Great, there this new body that just opened!" Hanji said before she starts to head towards the door, Levi follows behind with dark ideas forming into his head.

(The next day)

"Ugh…" Hanji moaned as she touches her forehead. Hanji was laying down on Levi couch wearing only her white blouse and her black panties. Her clothes scattered around the couch and her glasses was stuck in her hair. Armin, Eren and Mikasa was staring at the woman while Levi was finishing up the adoption papers for the kids.

"So…this lady is our mother?" Armin asked.

"I suppose, but she won't be in our life much." Levi said. "When she asked, just pretend that she is nothing to you."

"You got her drunk and then dragged her body to the church, didn't you?" Mikasa asked. Levi stops writing and glares at the little girl with his **SHUT UP** face.

"She's pretty!" Eren said, making both Mikasa and Armin glare at the boy with death in their eyes. The aura the two were creating was strong enough to wake Hanji up.

"Ugh…where am I?" Hanji asked as she turns her head and saw the children. She gasped and falls off the couch. "Oh my wall, I broke into someone house again!"

"No Hanji." Levi spoke. "You're in my house, and those are my kids."

"You have kids! They look so adorable!" Hanji shouted. "Oh my gosh, the blonde one so cute, whats your name?"

"I'm Armin." Armin said, Hanji smile turns into a frown.

"Armin a boy's name…" Hanji said. "What are you?"

"Figure it out." Armin retorted, making Hanji giggle a little.

"I know how you feel; some people can't tell my gender sometimes. Believe it or not, Levi is one of the few people who can tell I am a woman." Hanji said with a smile. "Well, I see that I am in my underwear again, can you guys be a doll and help me find my clothes." She asked the kids. The small kids began to scatter all over the room and picks began to pick up her clothes and bring them to her. Once Hanji was dressed, she waves goodbye to the child and leaves the house. Once gone, Levi looks at the children and smile.

"Now that's she gone, I think we should take a trip to the government center.


	5. Chapter 5

"Your married?" The desk lady asked Levi. "To Hanji? So, why hasn't she taken your name?"

"We thought we keep this a SECRET." Levi told the woman in a very deep but soft voice. The lady at the desk blushes and begins to sweat bullets before starting on the paper work. Levi glares at her the whole time she was working, till the very end. Once she was done, Levi snatched the papers away from her hand. He looks over the papers to see if everything was right, and it was. Levi nods his head before leaving the lady, once out of the building he heads straight home. Along the way he saw Hanji and Erwin talking to Mike, it was probably about the expedition tomorrow, so Levi decided not to stop and talk to them. Too bad Erwin notice him from afar.

"Levi! Come here!" Erwin shouted, Levis sighed and walks over to them. As he walks he folds the marriage license paper and stuck it into his pocket.

"What?" Levi asked.

"The mission tomorrow is canceled; the opening seems to be crowded by 7 to 15 meters' titans." Erwin told the male near him. "So we will discuss about a new strategy tomorrow at dawn."

"Fine." Levi responded.

"Oh, I think that's a little too early for you though. Don't you need to feed the little ones?" Hanji asked, Levi eyes widen in fear and shocked at her words. No one knew about Levi kids, so both Mike and Erwin were staring at Hanji as if she had lost her mind.

"Little ones?" Mike asked.

"Levi has kids, three of them." Hanji said, the next thing that happened was Levi death glares at her.

"You have kids, why was I not informed of this?" Erwin asked.

"I don't have biological kids, their survivors from the fall of Maria. And they are not mine, I am putting them in an orphanage soon." Levi lied. "I must go." He said before walking away from everyone.

(The next day)

"Why are we up so early?" Armin asked as the young blond child shoves pancakes into their mouth. Mikasa and Eren were nipping away on pancakes and fruit as they watched their adopted father comp his hair.

"I have a meeting and possible a mission today. I woke you up early so I that I can prepare food." Levi said.

"You're going outside the wall!" Eren asked.

"not today." Levi muttered. "Anyway, clean your rooms, make the beds and maybe I will give you guys sweets after dinner." Levi said. He then walks over to the couch in the room and pciks up his jacket. He puts the brown clothe and heads towards the door. He grabs the knob and opens the door to see a upset Hanji standing there.

"You…monster…"


	6. Chapter 6

"Oh, Its Hanji!" Eren shouted. "Hi Hanji!" He shouted and waved to her, but the glasses wearing woman did not notice him. Instead her eyes were glued to Levi face, Levi on the hand was staring at the wall behind her.

"What do you want shitty glasses?" Levi asked.

"A DIVORCE!" Hanji shouted, making Levi look at her in shock.

"How did you know?" Levi asked in a very calm voice, although on the inside he was scared. Hanji can be very scary when mad.

"I came to my office this morning, and was greeted by my works with a big sign that said Congratulations! And everyone was just shouting, Oh my wall, I cannot believe that you FUCKED Levi." Hanji said. "Apparently, you and I are married, care to explain?"

"Yes, I got you drunk, maid you sign the marriage papers, and put you down as my baby's momma." Levi said before pointing to the kids. Hanji looks at the three kids waving at her. She smiles and waves back before glaring down at Levi.

"You're an asshole, and you are going to go right down to the government office and get rid of those papers!" Hanji shouted.

"Why, you already have a husband?" Levi asked.

"No."

"Boyfriend?"

"No."

"Lover?"

"No."

"A crush?"

"No."

"Then why are you so angry with me?" Levi asked.

"Because I feel violated! I want a divorce!" Hanji said.

"Im not signing those papers." Levi said.

"Fine, Then I will go to Erwin!" Hanji shouted, she turns her body and was about to leave, But Levi grabs her arm and pulls her inside his apartment. He drags her to the couch and throws her body on soft cushion. He then looks at his children with dark eyes.

"Go outside and play." Levi tells them, the three children nod their heads and runs outside the apartment without wasting a second. Once the door was closed, Levi eyes make their way to Hanji`s.

"Listen to me you back watering moron. I don't care if you have negative feelings about this, your staying as my wife." Levi said. "And you know why, because I will be dammed if I lose those kids."

"What do you mean?" Hanji asked.

"You know what happens to children on the streets Hanji?" Levi asked. "They get kidnapped, they get brain washed and two things happen to them. One, they are turned into slaves, be it guard or sex slave. And Two, they are turned into food. Trust me, I have seen it, and it is not a pretty sight." Levi said. Hanji looks down to the ground and sigh.

"What are we going to tell Erwin?" Hanji asked.

"I'll do the talking." Levi said. "Once a year or two has past we will get a divorce and I will get custody of the kids, until then, I hope you keep in mind that we are married." Levi tells Hanji, the young woman sighs and nods her head before standing up from his couch. She gives him a quick glare before walking away from him.

'Guess I will see you in the office then…husband." Hanji said. "Oh, and since we are married…I want a titan."

"A what?" Levi asked.

"I'm willing to play this game here; put you can't have all the fun. Give me two titans, and I will gladly play loving wife." She said before walking out of his apartment. Levi glared at the door for a few minutes before sighing.

"I should have used that Petra girl…" Levi thought to himself.


	7. Chapter 7

"Oh my wall, congratulations!" Nanaba shouted as she hugs Hanji. Levi and Hanji had just entered the meeting room when they were surprised to see that Erwin had turned the meeting into a party room. All of the captains and rich people that funded the government was there, apparently Levi was more popular than he had known.

"I hate my life." Levi muttered, but Hanji was playing along welly. She wraps her arm around Levi waist and smiles.

"Yep, were married, can you believe?" Hanji said.

"I can't, I expected his taste to me in…smaller women." Mike jokes, Levi eyes narrowed to the giant man in anger.

"I will end you giant." Levi muttered.

"So how long have you two been dating?" Nanaba asked. Hanji opens her mouth to speak but Levi had already came up with a back story.

"We hooked up after the death of Isabel and Farlan. She helped me through my tough time and in the end we fell in love. We have been in love since."

"That's…nearly five years of dating…and you kept it a secret for that long?" Mike asked.

"I don't like people in my private life." Levi muttered. "But since your so NOSY, I guess this wasn't going to remain a secret for long."

"Oh god, I knew you would act sour." Hanji said. "But that's my Levi!"

"I demand to see you kiss." Mike said, both Hanji and Levi looked at the man with shocked eyes. Mike was testing them, he didn't believe the midget could love.

"Wait…what?" Levi asked, before Hanji could say anything the whole room begins to cheer and shout the word:

"KISS!"

"KISS!"

"KISS!"

"Fuck." Levi muttered under his breath before looking at Hanji. He pulls her by her jacket collar and kisses her. Because of his height, Hanji ended up falling to her knees as Levi kisses her passionately. This wouldn't be the first time the two kisses, well, to his knowledge at least. Let's just say Hanji becomes wild when she gets drunk, and Levi takes advantages to have fun with her. Don't worry, they never had sex, only kissing.

"Hot!" A solider shouted, everyone in the room then cheer them on. Levi and Hanji separated and smiled at each other for a second. At this moment, Mike had gotten an evil idea… a very dark and cruel idea.

"You know what, since we now know about your relationship. I think we should throw you guys a wedding!" Mike said, at this moment Levi heart stopped and his life flashed before his eyes…it was a really scary ride for him.


	8. Chapter 8

"LEVI!" Eren and Armin shouted as they run to the unconscious father. After Mike proposal to have a weeding at HQ, Levi fainted. It was a first for everyone there to see humanities strongest faint to such news, so Hanji had his men, Gunther and Eld, carry him home. Mike joined along because he wanted to see Levi children.

"So these are his kids." Petra said as she enters Levi apartment, she walks over to the three children and stared at them. "Your all so cute!"

"Thank you!" Armin said. Petra smiles at the young boy/girl child, her eyes then made their way to Eren. The small brunette child was smiling ear to ear at the sight of Petra.

"You're a scouting solider, aren't you?" Eren asked.

"The best of the be-." Oluo stops after biting his tongue. Armin and Mikasa stared at the man as if he had lost his mind.

"Why did you bite your tongue?" Mikasa asked.

"He just does that." Eld said as he looks at the kids.

"Are you a boy or a girl?" Mike asked the blond child in front of him. Armin glares at the tall man before saying:

"Figure it ou.t" Armin said. Mikasa walks over to Levi and pats his face a couple of times.

"Well…he's finally sleeping." Mikasa said. "Now that he is asleep…I'm out!"

"Same!" Armin shouted, Eren nods his head and follows his friends towards the door, but the three were stopped by Petra and Hanji.

"Where do you think your going?" Hanji asked.

"Out, we have business to attend to." Mikasa said.

"Business? Your 11." Petra said.

"Were ten lady." Mikasa said, her cute face turned dark, as dark as Levi when he threatens someone. Petra took a deep breath before saying:

"Well, I think you three should go to bed. It is late and your father would probably want you guys to be sleeping." Petra said.

"Hey look, a titan!" Eren shouted.

"WHERE!?" Hanji shouted, at that second, the three children ran out of the apartment like scurry rats. Petra gasped as she chases the kids. Behind her was Hanji and the rest of Levi men. The three kids ran into Maria streets and split up. Eren ran into the market crowd, Mikasa ran into an overcrowded pub, and Armin ran into the dark alley ways. The adults begin to panic.

"Okay!" Hanji shouted. "Petra and I will go after Eren! Eld and Oulo, go get Mikasa, and Gunther and Mike, get Armin!" Hanji said before sprinting into the crowded area with Petra behind her. Mike and Gunther used their gears to catch up with Armin whole Oulo and Eld and pushed through the crowd to get into the pub.

(An hour later)

After searching practically, the whole city, the adults had no luck in finding the kids.

"How do we lose three kids! Were supposed to be the best of the best!" Hanji shouted.

"Three small kids are nothing compare to titans Hanji." Mike said.

"Levi is going to kill me!" Hanji shouted.

"Your dam right." A voice said behind her. She looks over her shoulder and saw Levi glaring at her. "Where are our children Hanji?"

"Umm…I lost them." Hanji said with a small blush on her face.

"Oh? " Levi said, he then looks to the ground for a few minutes before shouting:

"YOU MY CHILDREN!?"


End file.
